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sickipediabot
373,606 Followers.
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Tweeting the world's best collection of sick jokes
Howard Webb's kids have denied their Dad is a secret Man Utd fan. "He is totally unbiased" Alex, George, Bobby, Matt and Cristiano stated.
1/10/2011 7:06 AM
no reply
On a scale of the McCanns to Josef Fritzl, how good are you at keeping your daughter in the house?
Sep 8
1 reply
News: Boy dies after masturbating 42 times in a row It's sad to see him toss his life away like that.
Sep 4
3 replies
I was walking through the streets of London earlier when I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my stomach. I was being stabbed.
Sep 10
no reply
Arsenal players didn't have breakfast this morning. They apparently 8-2 much last night.
Aug 30
no reply
So Beyonce and Jay-Z are having kid. Wow, that kid will have everything. Except a last name.
Aug 30
no reply
Rioters have just stormed JJB sports in Islington again and returned the Arsenal shirts they took last month.
Sep 2
no reply
My wife tried to humiliate me by pointing out my Pokemon obsession in front of our entire family. It was super effective.
Sep 2
1 reply
Owen Hargreaves is now out for 2 months after breaking his wrist signing the contract.
Sep 2
no reply
Checking Facebook is kind of like checking your underwear after a fart. There's most likely nothing new and if there is, it's probably shit.
Sep 2
4 replies
Why do men twist their wedding ring? They are trying to work out the combination.
Aug 31
no reply
So Poland gave the UK no votes in Eurovision. Fair enough, they're not supposed to vote for their own country anyway.
5/14/2011 7:08 PM
1 reply
Can't believe London's getting bomb threats from the IRA. We gave Ireland 12 points at Eurovision. Ungrateful bastards.
5/16/2011 12:58 PM
2 replies
The woman who injected her 8 year-old daughter with Botox for beauty pageants has lost custody. The child didn't look surprised.
5/17/2011 9:36 AM
2 replies
Somewhere out there, a neurotic chicken wants to cross the road but is paralyzed by the knowledge that everyone will question his motives
Feb 29
no reply
I don't know what "Swagger" is but I know Justin Bieber and Cher Lloyd both claim to have it so I'm assuming it's not talent.
Mar 1
no reply
Woke up hungover to the sound of my asshole neighbour mowing his lawn at 8am! Well he'll just have to mow around me today, I ain't moving!
Mar 2
no reply
GOAL!!!!!!! Arsenal 6-2 Tottenham ( 90 +23 Hours ) Charlie Adam with a lovely finish from 12 miles away.
Feb 28
no reply
They should call the roofs on convertible cars 'foreskins', because when you pull it back it reveals the bell end underneath.
Feb 28
no reply
What's the difference between my toolbox and the Premier League?? There will be hammers in my toolbox next week.
5/15/2011 1:43 AM
1 reply
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