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itsrealTED
757,176 Followers.
86 Friends.
i'm ted. i'm real. and all I do is smoke, drink and party. follow me bitches. oh and this is obviously a parody. *PARODY* *ROLEPLAYING*
3 reasons why I cuss: 1. Because I fucking want to. 2. Because I fucking can. 3. Because I don't give a fuck.
30 days ago
9 replies
Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.
May 17
7 replies
Go on Google Maps. Type in: 52.376552,5.198303 and you'll see a man dragging a body into a lake. šš¦š§ http://t.co/91q5bUQEVH
May 9
2 replies
#UnansweredHipHopQuestions Lil Bow Wow is now Bow Wow, Lil Romeo is now Romeo, so when will Lil Wayne grow up?
Jul 6
no reply
Sorry sweetie, but no. Alcohol is not an excuse for being a dirty slut. Nice try though.
Jul 4
no reply
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom untill they are flashing behind you...
Jul 4
3 replies
Right now you have 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support, and you're scrolling with your thumb...
Jul 4
no reply
Me: babe, are you jealous? Her: no. Me: are you sure? Her: yes. Me: kiss me. Her: GO KISS THAT BITCH WHO LIKED YOUR STATUS ON FACEBOOK!!!
Jul 4
1 reply
Need a friend? Text me. Need a laugh? Call me. Need money? This number is no longer in service. ī
Jul 4
1 reply
We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity. ī
Jul 4
1 reply
Pregnancy used to be a beautiful thing... now it's just like... "oh, she's pregnant too?" Hoes always fucking something up!
Jul 3
1 reply
Same ol' weave , just a different glue. Mama need a perm, baby needs one too. Times is getting hard, tracks is getting loose. STRUGGLE HARD!
Jul 3
no reply
Giving gum to your friend is like a drug deal. "You didnt SEE anything, you didnt HEAR anything, and you sure as hell didnt get it from ME"
Jul 3
no reply
No girl sucks dick but somehow all niggas get head, Niggas only fuck bad bitches yet all these ugly bitches getting pregnant. somebody lying
Jul 2
no reply
I hate when I'm singing and some idiot thinks they can join in with me... BITCH THIS IS NOT GLEE!
Jul 2
no reply
Iām in a relationship with sleep and I get some every night...and if I'm lucky i get some during the day.
Jul 2
no reply
Ladies: If I give you my sweatshirt when you're cold, I expect you to give me that pussy when I'm horny. #JustSaying
Jul 2
1 reply
Big boobs = no ass No ass = big boobs Big boobs and big ass = ugly face Big boobs , big ass , pretty face = hoe.
Jul 2
no reply
Be careful who you call your damn friends. I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
Jul 2
1 reply
Drake: Wayne I heard Jay Z, and Pusha T was gone be there. Wayne: man I heard common and Chris was gone be there. *both* we staying home.
Jul 2
no reply
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