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_vickypollard_
132,634 Followers.
449 Friends.
Don't go giving me evils!
#LifeWouldBeAlotBetterIf social services stopped bringing my ginger kid back every time i left him on the bus
17 days ago
4 replies
Helen Flanagan being voted the sexiest woman in the UK is like me winning mum of the year award
19 days ago
5 replies
#ThingsISayInSchoolTheMost you won't think i'm thick when i'm working in mcdonalds and have got 4 stars
27 days ago
2 replies
#sometimesiwishthat i had more kids, i've already got 12 but you need 16 before you get on the telly
Apr 18
no reply
#mentionsomeoneimportantforyou my kids, without their child benefit i couldn't have Sky+ HD
Mar 27
1 reply
#TheMostAnnoyingThingsEver coming home from Asda and realising that you've left one of your kids there, and it's not even the ginger one
Mar 23
no reply
#TheBiggestLies leaving your ginger kid on a park bench and telling him you'll be right back
Mar 7
1 reply
#WhatiDoWhenIAmAlone see how many cadburys creme eggs i can shove up my minge, my record is 12
Mar 5
4 replies
#TheMostAnnoyingThingsInLife people calling you a slag just cos you had a baby when you was 11
Feb 22
6 replies
omg Justin Bieber went to Primark, he should've told me what he wanted, i would've nicked it then sold him it to him for 1/2 price
Feb 19
no reply
#HappyValentinesDay roses are red, and i'm watching jezza, the boy is a minger, and his girlfriend's a lezza
Feb 14
no reply
#majorturnoffs anyone who hasn't got the flexibility to shag me on top of a wheelie bin
Feb 12
1 reply
#ThingsThatMatter having a really ugly best mate to pose in pictures with so that you don't look so ugly
Feb 10
1 reply
Someone should've told that girl who ate her own tampon that a used tampon contains over 500 calories, would've made her think twice
Jan 20
no reply
#undateables "what are you looking for in a girl?", guy with tourettes: "a fucking shit cunt bitch fat slag", basically me then
Jan 8
no reply
"I always wonder if you smile at my texts like i smile at yours" fuck off you total virgin
Dec 22
no reply
Didnt pick my kids up from school today cos of the end of the world, Im well gonna be in trouble with my social worker if it doesnt happen
Dec 20
no reply
#NationalTextYourExDay does giving someone a handjob count as an ex cos i've only got £25 of credit
Oct 30
no reply
#unsafesexinthecity the good news her test results came back negative, the bad news she's still a total minger
Oct 24
no reply
#unsafesexinthecity Can't believe the girl who lost her virginity in year 7, why did she wait so long?
Oct 24
no reply
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