SamGrittner | The Tweet Watch

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SamGrittner
27,657 Followers.
707 Friends.

WRITER. STAND-UP. SEGA. Featured on *MSNBC * MASHABLE* CNN .com* Contributor to: http://t.co/XhV41DTo * I co-manage @hollywood_com and created @TonightonGIRLS

I celebrate International Women's Day by visiting my local CVS and torching all their 'JUST FOR MEN' products while screaming: "NOT TODAY!"
Mar 8 no reply

Daniel Day-Lewis is so method that in preparation for the role of Abraham Lincoln in 'Lincoln' he spent ten months on the side of a penny.
Sep 17 no reply

I don't know if Facebook can help but they obviously need a lot of organ donations in North Carolina what with all those missing hearts.
5/9/2012 1:59 AM no reply

What's the difference between Osama Bin Laden and my watch? Not only does my watch have a face, it's water-resistant.
5/4/2011 6:37 PM no reply

People who say they 'dabbled' in drugs are really just saying they did cocaine for at least three years.
3/11/2011 10:40 AM no reply

Saw a guy with three lip-ring piercings on the subway today. Took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain.
2/9/2011 2:18 PM no reply

When it comes to fighting let's just say I have lightning-like reflexes…. I hit the ground fast.
2/4/2011 3:01 PM no reply

I'm 1000% sure the only dog that deserved the "Michael Vick treatment" was that rude, dickhead that openly mocked me during 'Duck Hunt.'
1/23/2011 10:59 AM no reply

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