ERlC_CARTMAN | The Tweet Watch

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ERlC_CARTMAN
177,841 Followers.
01 Friends.

Not really Cartman, but you will RESPECT MY AUTHORITAI!!! Role Playing. Parody account.

I hate when I can't use the internet because my neighbor didn't pay the bill come on #HookMeUp
Nov 16 no reply

#UShouldBeHappy that not only is facebook the number one social network its also the number one pornsite too
Nov 17 no reply

Dating my EX? I'm eating pizza, do you want to come by tomorrow for those left-overs too?
Nov 15 no reply

"Hey." *2 HOURS LATER* "Hi." No, it's too late. I don't wanna talk to you anymore >.>
Feb 29 no reply

My disney channel was "Even Stevens" "That's so Raven", & "Lizzie McGuire" It didn't involve talking fish or 11 year olds in high school
Mar 1 no reply

"Not Everything On The Internet Is True." wait! so there's not sexy singles in my area dying to meet me?!
Mar 2 no reply

Kids at my school: i like to smoke weed and get high. Me: sometimes when it's cold, i like to breathe really heavy and pretend i'm a dragon
Mar 2 no reply

To all the students who drop out and failed high school: Remember two things, 1. You tried your best. 2. I don't like onions on my Big Mac
29 days ago no reply

I've always wanted to go into an elevator full of strangers and say "i bet youre wondering why ive gathered you all here today"
Dec 3 2 replies

That awkward moment when your listening to a song you love then Pittbull starts singing
Feb 9 no reply

I Was Gonna Give My Change To A Homeless Guy Today But His Sign Said ''ONE DAY IT COULD BE YOU'' So I Held Onto It, Just Incase He Was Right
Feb 10 no reply

#ItsBadEnough some chicks can't grow hair and now girls think it's cool to shave the side of their head. You look like an idiot
Nov 28 no reply

Life is like a penis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then the women make it hard.
Dec 2 7 replies

#YouKnowItsAProblemWhen you see a whole bunch of black people running away from something so you drop everything and run with them.
Dec 2 9 replies

If twin females marry twin males, And they each have a child, Will both children look alike? o_O Mind= BLOWN
8 days ago no reply

#YouHaveNoFriendsBecause you always want something from them, but are never there for them douchebag
Nov 30 2 replies

Don't let my bedroom floor fool you. It may appear dirty, but those are actually clean clothes that I haven't folded in months.
Dec 1 18 replies

Instead of "LOL", try "LSIMHBIWFEFMTALOL": Laughing Silently In My Head Because It Wasn't Funny Enough For Me To Actually Laugh Out Loud
Dec 8 17 replies

I think there is one thing both genders can agree on, neither one want Justin Bieber in their gender.
Dec 9 no reply

My mom accused me of being a liar. I looked at her in the face & said, “tooth fairy, Santa, Easter bunny.” & walked away like a boss.
Dec 7 14 replies

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