The Tweet Watch
Your source of tweets that matter!
Judging you all from a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Not associated with Lucasfilm or Disney. DepressedDarth@gmail.com
Happy Memorial Day, let us all remember the stormtroopers who were killed by those evil ewoks in the Battle of Endor.
23 days ago
Happy Memorial Day, we're having wookiee steak on the Death Star, it's a little Chewy.
23 days ago
For Memorial Day, I'm going to Endor to honor the stormtroopers who were killed by those Teddy bears with sticks.
25 days ago
I'm excited for Paris Hilton's new album, the Empire needs something awful sounding to torture rebels with.
27 days ago
Now that Paris Hilton is coming out with an album, Justin Bieber is no longer the worst female musician.
28 days ago
Chewbacca is excited for Xbox One, he's going to be upset though when he realizes it can't understand his voice commands.
28 days ago
The new Xbox One does voice commands and can stream TV, I hope it can also find the droids I'm looking for. #XboxOne
29 days ago
Bane is my favorite Batman villain because he wears a mask and talks with a funny voice.
Star Trek Into Darkness is getting great reviews. Good work J.J. Abrams, now let's make the new Star Wars even better.
Dear J.J. Abrams, Please make sure the new Star Wars is better than the new Star Trek. Sincerely, Star Wars fans.
Why couldn't Princess Leia find a boyfriend? She was looking for love in Alderaan places.
Dear Electronic Arts, Don't screw up Star Wars video games, the Death Star is pointed at you. Sincerely, The Empire.
Dear Twilight fans, Go watch Star Wars and stop being so lame. Sincerely, Everyone.
If you've never seen Star Wars, you should stop what you're doing right now and go buy all six episodes on Blu-ray.
I'm happy Justin Bieber has 38 million followers, now the Death Star has a good enough reason to destroy Earth. #38MillionBeliebers
Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriend from One Direction said she was annoying. In other news everybody already knows, water is wet.
Dear Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Stop asking to join the Dark Side, we don't want you. Sincerely, The Empire.
Han got lucky getting frozen in carbonite, his other option was listening to Nickelback.
Lindsay Lohan tweeted that she's pregnant. In related news, soon I will no longer be the worst parent in the universe.
Dear JJ Abrams, If you screw up the new Star Wars movie, I will start calling you Jar Jar Abrams. Sincerely, Darth.
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