Installing booby traps outside my office has cut down on useless meetings by 75%.
6/22/2011 10:06 AM no reply
6/22/2011 10:06 AM no reply
The only people experiencing the rapture tomorrow is whoever I take home from the club.
5/20/2011 5:44 PM no reply
5/20/2011 5:44 PM no reply
Godzilla and Katrina are trending right now. And you wonder why I want to destroy you, America.
3/11/2011 9:19 AM no reply
3/11/2011 9:19 AM no reply
"I care enough about Egypt I tweeted about it. Now back to my super-sized Baconator." I love you America.
1/28/2011 2:33 PM no reply
1/28/2011 2:33 PM no reply
At shelter handing out anthrax stuffed turkeys, untraceable handguns, and expired gift cards.
12/25/2010 2:17 PM no reply
12/25/2010 2:17 PM no reply
Ladies, whatever you're dressed up as this weekend, just make sure your daddy would be ashamed of you.
10/30/2010 8:54 PM no reply
10/30/2010 8:54 PM no reply
Hey America! You remember all that oil BP dumped in your gulf? No? I LOVE THIS COUNTRY. So gullible.
10/7/2010 12:38 PM no reply
10/7/2010 12:38 PM no reply
The U.S. leaves Iraq and we move right on in. This is about the only time I'm fine with sloppy seconds.
8/19/2010 12:03 PM no reply
8/19/2010 12:03 PM no reply
