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BorowitzReport
Bin Laden sees what BP's done, and he's like, "Man, I've got to step up my game."
5/29/2010 4:59 PM
Replies
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ItsGavinC
5/29/2010 4:20 PM
@BorowitzReport ummm, yeah, because gas prices are actually dropping. As if bin Laden cares about the environment.
NutsByAzzah
5/29/2010 2:02 PM
@BorowitzReport Done....
TheMustafaShow
5/29/2010 1:39 PM
@BorowitzReport hahaha!! I think Bin Laden died already!! :P
VanillaWaif
5/28/2010 8:43 PM
@BorowitzReport Andy, done and done. you are a true @Satiristas! Great job. follow back?
prodnose
Film Idea. N. Korean rocket goes into sea, hits Titanic wreckage, powers it up & it arrives in NY 100 yrs late. Body of Bin Laden is aboard.
Apr 13
no reply
LOLGOP
I blame President Obama for creating 4 million jobs, getting bin Laden and ending the Iraq war. Things used to be so awesome.
29 days ago
no reply
joshtpm
Same team that ran on phony terror alerts in 2004 now bashing Obama for ordering killing bin Laden. Ummmm, okay ...
19 days ago
no reply
KimJongNumberUn
It's been a year since bin Laden said to Dad, "Let me put you on hold. Someone's at the door."
19 days ago
no reply
KimJongNumberUn
I'll always feel a little guilty that the day before Osama bin Laden died I invited him to join Foursquare.
18 days ago
no reply
TheGirlsLikeYou
You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step.
Jan 25
no reply
aTeenagerQuote
You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through. If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step.
Dec 6
1 reply
MyQuotesBook
You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through. If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step.
Apr 1
no reply
reIationships
If your makeup isn't done, your hair is a mess and you're in your PJ's and he still can't resist taking you in his arms, he's a keeper.
Apr 5
no reply
FuckUJody
PRAISE God for what He has already done, THANK God for what He is currently doing, & TRUST God for what He is about to do! Happy Easter
Apr 8
no reply
LetsQuoteComedy
I Hate When My Waiter asks me, "are you done" when they see my plate empty... Naw, imma eat the damn plate too.
Apr 9
no reply
MadeaSimmonss
#GhettoTextSignatures Can I borrow $150 dollars to get my hair and nails done? - *** MI$$ INDEPENDENT ***"
Apr 10
no reply
Katt__Williams
Me: I'll have a McDouble, McFries, a McNapkin,.. Employee: Sir why are you- Me: McShut the fuck up! I'm not done! Employee: THIS IS WENDYS!
Apr 12
no reply
Jesse_Spencer
My last scene on House! What?! 8 years and now done? Good god who wants to go have a beer? Meet me in an hour. J x
Apr 14
2 replies
TitanicRealTime
#officer Women and children in boats cannot last much longer. What else can be done?
Apr 14
no reply
CauseWereGirls
Saying you'll wake up early in the morning to get something done, then in the morning convincing yourself it's not important. #TRUE
29 days ago
no reply
RichNeville
Well done, Jeremy Hunt. It takes a big man to admit when your special adviser is wrong.
24 days ago
no reply
AdamSandlerFun
Me: I'll have a McDouble, McFries, a McNapkin,.. Employee: Sir why are you-… Me: McShut the fuck up! Im not done! Employee: THIS IS WENDYS!
23 days ago
no reply
USEmbPretoria
Happy Freedom Day, South Africa: 'It always seems impossible until it's done' - Nelson Mandela
22 days ago
no reply
DanielMudford
Well done, whoever let Alan Partridge pick the Olympics Hyde Park gig lineup.
18 days ago
no reply
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